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30.

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Today, I am thirty.

….sooo…. why do I feel no different today than I did yesterday, at 29?

Probably because my kids went to bed squabbling and woke up squabbling.  Thanks for keeping it real, kids.  You da real MVP.

But I digress.  Today isn’t just that huge of a deal for me.  It is what it is.  My best friend made a valid point this morning — 40 will probably be my epic meltdown birthday.  So, there’s that.  Ten additional years to prepare for being a complete basket case.  She also told me to party like a rockstar — little did she know that I woke up laying in puke that wasn’t my own (thanks, Mason!) and to an unwelcome foot down my pants (thanks, Connor!).  So while I’ll likely not party like a rockstar, I certainly woke up like one.  Same difference, right?

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I’m pretty sure my body is just in shock that I’ve made it thirty years through three c-sections, a slew of super-stupid life choices, and a nearly completely pickled liver.  The “dirty thirty” birthday bonanza will probably hit me like a semi-truck later when I’m kicking children out of the bathroom so I can just take a damn shower.  So for now, I’m going to leave you with thirty things about myself that, like ’em or not, have made me who I am today.

  1. I was born May 30th, 1988 at 8:15 AM.  I only know the time because my sweet mother has hammered that into my memory for, oh, thirty years.
  2. I have three siblings (two brothers and a sister), all of whom I am extremely proud of.  No, their accomplishments are not my own.  But they make me proud to be their sister.
  3. I have always rooted for the underdog.  That hasn’t always worked out in my favor.
  4. I am a momma to three beautiful and slightly deranged little boys.  They are my reasons to get up every morning — largely because they wake me up at the buttcrack of dawn every. damn. day.
  5. I love Diet Coke and would drink it by the case if I didn’t think it would kill me on the spot.
  6. When I was growing up, I wanted to be a writer.  …that clearly didn’t pan out.
  7. I also wanted to be a pilot and an interior designer.  I don’t mean to brag, but I chauffeur my kids around like nobody’s business and I can feng shui the hell out of some Legos.
  8. My most favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird.
  9. love murder-mysteries in any form — except for in real life.  Don’t nobody got time for that.
    • Murder, She Wrote is my JAM.
  10. I love to explore and would pack my family up to become adventurers if given the chance.
  11. Ireland is on the top of my “Places to Go” bucketlist.
  12. I talk with my hands.
  13. I’m a hugger (comes with that Southern territory — sorry, not sorry).
  14. Daisies are my favorite flower with tulips following at a close second.
  15. I love all things history, emphasis on Early American and European history.
  16. I am fascinated by the lives of people from the past.  I think I romanticise it all and get it in my head that they lived these super intriguing lives when, in reality, they were probably pretty ordinary for the times.
  17. I romanticise a lot of things, come to think of it.
  18. I was a single mom for two years.  Not a very long time at all by most standards, but it taught me a lot and helped me really appreciate life and, more importantly, my son’s life.  On a more serious note, he truly did save me from myself.
  19. I met my husband through my ex-brother-in-law via Facebook.  Truth be told, I only met Evan to shut Jake up.  Little did I know…
  20. My abhorrent punctuation skills aside, my favorite subject in school was English.
  21. I plan on taking the leap one day and writing a book.  God bless the editor that is assigned to that hot mess!
  22. I am terrified of deep water.
  23. I wish I were a bit bolder.
  24. Sometimes I feel altogether useless as an adult and parent.  But don’t we all?
  25. I really love deep conversations.  I know that’s not a super popular thing these days, so I have to censor myself lest I become a real buzz kill.
  26. My mouth is absolutely horrid.  Seriously, I don’t even realize I swear half the time.  I’m working on it.
  27. One day I hope to explore an old house and find a secret passageway.  That would be the equivalent of finding gold for me.
  28. I have no idea what I’m doing most days.
  29. Writing this list made me realize how little I really know about myself, which is oddly scary.
  30. And finally, I hope to lose minimally thirty pounds by the end of the year.  Not just for myself, but for my kids as well.

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So there you have it.  If you made it through that somewhat redundant list, then bless your heart.  I’m off to celebrate the morning at IHOP with my kiddos, because prying sticky pancake off of my four-year-old is the best thing EVAH.

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 wearing monkeys who live there.

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39 thoughts on “30.”

  1. It wasn’t a big deal for me either, turning 30. At that time I only worried because I hadn’t had my children yet (I always figured I’d be younger, though I’m glad now I didn’t!).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m almost 31 and I have no idea what I’m doing most days either. Haha. Happy Birthday! Hope your pancakes were amazing!

    Like

  3. I love this post 😂😂. I can’t agree more with 27, If I could find a secret passageway in a house I would probably die of excitement. Also, from someone coming up on 32, we all know so little about ourselves, I feel like I’ll be getting to know myself better till the day I die!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Happy Birthday. It’s funny how we build up milestone birthdays in our heads but when they actually get here, it’s a bit anticlimatic lol. You feel no different than you did the day before 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 30’s are wonderful, enjoy every minute. The only downsides are that nothing heals as quickly, and hangovers are way worse. Otherwise it’s all roses!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish I knew! Sometimes I feel like I’ve accomplished a fair amount — other days I feel like I’ve let things go directly down the toilet. Adulthood: it’s a crapshoot. (Pun not intended, but definitely worth it!)

      Like

  6. First of all, love the way you write, very funny!
    Second, I haven’t reached 30 yet but I never feel “older” by the year of birth… it’s usually the exhaustion of yelling at my kids, finding the strands of glowing whites that have convinced me to get highlights, the yellowing teeth, the sagged breasts, and that belly that decided to grow again making me look pregnant a third time 😂😢 But all these things I don’t like all that much and annoy me also make me proud, without them I wouldn’t be where I’m at in life. So cheers to being a parent! Cheers to your 30th! And cheers to our kids and our families!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right?? It’s not the years that age you — it’s the amount of jackassery that one tolerates. haha! Thank you so much for the compliment and, yes — definitely cheers to being a momma and making it to thirty. Here’s to another 360 months!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I like you didn’t feel much different when thirty hit at all. That very next year when my oldest hit highschool I then felt older than dirt. I couldn’t believe how old I felt sitting in that highschool for his events! As far as being a writer didn’t pan out. Maybe not the way you planned but this looks like writing to me. By the amount of scrolling down the comment list I had to do to leave my own I’d say your a successful writer in my book! Keep up the great work. Oh and man I swear like a sailor too. I am not sure when that started even… I should work on it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for your comment! I think I understand the issue there — I can still vividly remember high school (even though it’s been 12 years ago), and I’m sure when my oldest is in high school (in five very short years) I’ll still have all those memories. It probably feels surreal to have such vivid recollections from your past, but also watch your kiddos go through similar experiences.

      Motherhood. It’s a BLAST. haha!

      Liked by 1 person

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