I don’t know about y’all, but my least favorite chore ever has got to be washing dishes. I’ve hated dish duty since I was a kid (just ask my mom), and I highly doubt that’ll ever change. Unfortunately, being an Underwater Stoneware Technician is a huge part of momming, and since I’m kind of Type A about how dishes are washed (we’re not even going to get started on how obsessive I am regarding dishwasher LOADING…), it’s something I simply must abide.
I’m not sure what it is about dishwashing that I detest — is it the monotony? Could it be how utterly tedious and boring it becomes? Or is it because my kids still leave half of their eggs from breakfast on their plate which, inevitably, will make their way to the sink and then on to my unsuspecting (read: naive) hands? I wish I could say yes to that last one, but I haven’t been a mom for thirty years, so that pretty much kills that theory.
Ultimately, I believe it’s because I’m stuck there, with my back turned all vulnerable-like, not able to do anything except scrape breakfast out of the drain and play “Pin the Steak Knife on the Pinky” — quite by accident, I assure you.
I’m a mom of boys. Wild boys. Reckless boys. Boys who can conjure up self-injuries just by thinking about them. The last thing I need to do on a day-to-day basis is to turn my back on these heathens for even a few minutes. I’m also a serious procrastinator. I’ve been known to leave a casserole dish in the fridge until juuuust before it developed legs and an appetite. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s the truth. MY NAME IS SARAH, AND I HATE WASHING DISHES.
I’ll clean your toilets. I’ll fold the laundry. Hell, I’ll paint your walls, stain your furniture, and grout your floors — but for the love of God, don’t make me wash the dishes.
You may be thinking, “Sarah! Hello!! Why don’t you have your kids wash the dishes?!” Well, I’ll tell you why. I don’t trust my kids to wash the dishes because the name of the game is, “Remove ALL Food Residue — Not Just the Stinky Bits”. I have great kids. They both want to help and are eager to learn how to do things. Guess you could say I’m blessed in that arena. But they are their momma’s children. And washing dishes? Sorry, future daughters in law; I’m gonna go ahead and take the blame on this one. They’ll change butts, wipe up spit up, vacuum, mop, and sweep. They’ll pick up sticks, cut the grass, take out the trash, and cut down limbs. Hell, they’ll do all that all while telling you how beautiful you are. But you won’t want them washing the dishes. HEED MY WARNING.
Anyhow, I’m off to do my motherly duty and wash up a few cookie sheets. And pots. And a casserole dish. I waited them out as long as I could, but they’re clearly not going to wash themselves.