Family, Humor, Kids, Mom blog, Mom Life, Motherhood, Parenting, Uncategorized

Nevertheless, She Did the Dishes

I don’t know about y’all, but my least favorite chore ever has got to be washing dishes.  I’ve hated dish duty since I was a kid (just ask my mom), and I highly doubt that’ll ever change.  Unfortunately, being an Underwater Stoneware Technician is a huge part of momming, and since I’m kind of Type A about how dishes are washed (we’re not even going to get started on how obsessive I am regarding dishwasher LOADING…), it’s something I simply must abide.

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I’m not sure what it is about dishwashing that I detest — is it the monotony?  Could it be how utterly tedious and boring it becomes?  Or is it because my kids still leave half of their eggs from breakfast on their plate which, inevitably, will make their way to the sink and then on to my unsuspecting (read: naive) hands?  I wish I could say yes to that last one, but I haven’t been a mom for thirty years, so that pretty much kills that theory.

Ultimately, I believe it’s because I’m stuck there, with my back turned all vulnerable-like, not able to do anything except scrape breakfast out of the drain and play “Pin the Steak Knife on the Pinky” — quite by accident, I assure you.

I’m a mom of boys.  Wild boys.  Reckless boys.  Boys who can conjure up self-injuries just by thinking about them.  The last thing I need to do on a day-to-day basis is to turn my back on these heathens for even a few minutes.  I’m also a serious procrastinator.  I’ve been known to leave a casserole dish in the fridge until juuuust before it developed legs and an appetite.  It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s the truth.  MY NAME IS SARAH, AND I HATE WASHING DISHES.

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I’ll clean your toilets.  I’ll fold the laundry.  Hell, I’ll paint your walls, stain your furniture, and grout your floors — but for the love of God, don’t make me wash the dishes.

You may be thinking, “Sarah!  Hello!!  Why don’t you have your kids wash the dishes?!”  Well, I’ll tell you why.  I don’t trust my kids to wash the dishes because the name of the game is, “Remove ALL Food Residue — Not Just the Stinky Bits”.  I have great kids.  They both want to help and are eager to learn how to do things.  Guess you could say I’m blessed in that arena.  But they are their momma’s children.  And washing dishes?  Sorry, future daughters in law; I’m gonna go ahead and take the blame on this one.  They’ll change butts, wipe up spit up, vacuum, mop, and sweep.  They’ll pick up sticks, cut the grass, take out the trash, and cut down limbs.  Hell, they’ll do all that all while telling you how beautiful you are.  But you won’t want them washing the dishes.  HEED MY WARNING.

Anyhow, I’m off to do my motherly duty and wash up a few cookie sheets.  And pots.  And a casserole dish.  I waited them out as long as I could, but they’re clearly not going to wash themselves.

22 thoughts on “Nevertheless, She Did the Dishes”

  1. I hate doing dishes as well! Recently our dishwasher had a leak & I had to do dishes by hand every night until the part came in to fix it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I HATE doing the dishes, but every time I pull out a dish that my husband washed… it’s not clean. So now I have just sucked it up because I would rather have clean dishes than having to rewash half clean ones!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha loved this article…and I am SO right there with you, dishes are the absolute worst! I feel like I’m constantly doing gross dishes!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Underwater Stoneware Technician” has me laughing! I am also a stickler for how the dishes are loaded (otherwise they just don’t get clean!). My least favorite kind of dish is anything with peanut butter on it…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I used to be very diligent about about dishwashing but recently I’ve fallen off the wagon. I will get back on again soon. However, I do really like the sense of satisfaction after the jobs all done

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I can so relate to this! Touching the food is the worst part for me! I get so disgusted but at the same time no one cleans them like I do! Don’t even get me started when someone puts a dirty spoon in the drawer! This post was hilarious and I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Haha oh my goodness! I am the SAME way. I will clean a toilet, scrub the floor, anything but wash the dishes. I hate it so much!!! I’m currently staring at a full sink that I’ve been avoiding all afternoon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re my kind of girl! Lol. I can tolerate ironing late at night after the kids have gone to bed (gives me an excuse to catch up on Netflix), but even still, it’s not my go-to chore. Lol!

      Like

  8. Oh my goodness lady, I literally laughed out loud 😂 #seriouswritingskills

    I hate dishes too but I still make my kids do them. In fact, I’ve not done the dishes myself in approximately 6 months (and would you believe they actually get clean? #itsamiracle)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They unload the dishwasher and are killer at folding laundry, but washing dishes. .eh. I’ve been on the fence. Haha! They’ve gotta learn sooner or later, though, I suppose. 😂😂

      Like

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